KCNA rails against Lee Myungbak over reunification remarks

I read KCNA from time to time, checking for any glimmer that Kim Jong-un (aka, The Kim Who Wasn't There) is actually being elevated for public consumption, among other issues.

If you're expecting a flood of vicious propaganda, you might be surprised to know that a lot of the stories — an increasing amount, in fact — are straightforward news, like this one describing the effects of Typhoon Meari.

But if you're occasionally looking for scathing vitriol, the KCNA doesn't disappoint. In this article, we have the KCNA's take on the words of South Korean President Lee Myungbak to the people of South Korea that they should be prepared for unification to happen at any time:

Traitor Lee Myung Bak's Anti-Reunification Remarks Slammed

Pyongyang, June 26 (KCNA) -- Traitor Lee Myung Bak of south Korea recently told gentries of the Advisory Council of Democracy and Peaceful Unification at Chongwadae that "unification can come at midnight like a burglar". He also called for getting prepared for unification, saying it came near.

Papers of the DPRK in commentaries Sunday brand his remarks as an intolerable insult to the Koreans desirous of reunification and an unpardonable politically-motivated provocation to the DPRK.

Rodong Sinmun says that Lee has done nothing for reunification except pushing the inter-Korean relations to a catastrophe to delay it. He dared to defile the arduous struggle fought by Koreans for reunification and the noble self-sacrificing spirit displayed by them.

The said remarks can be made only by a die-hard confrontation maniac, a lunatic seeking division only.

"Unification" touted by Lee is not the independent and peaceful reunification to be achieved by the concerted efforts of the Koreans but "unification of systems" premised on toppling the DPRK. Herein lies the gravity of his remarks.

Lee fully revealed his true colors as a traitor seeking the confrontation of systems by doggedly standing against national reconciliation, unity and reunification.

Explicitly speaking, it is a pipe dream to try to expand the corrupt fascist dictatorial system of south Korea to the DPRK through the confrontation of systems.

Minju Joson says that the traitor compared reunification to a burglar only to reveal the poor level of his thinking as a political imbecile and philistine and the nature of human scum accustomed to lining one's pocket with others' cash.

Now just how could telling people to be prepared for unification be an "intolerable insult" to people who desire unification? For that matter, how could it be a "politically motivated provocation"? Well, the answer is that the KCNA is reading between the lines, figuring that what President Lee means is that North Korea could collapse at any time (the North Koreans themselves worry about the same thing), and that is how unification would be achieved.

And that points to one of the odd things about the KCNA, that they would print things like this that include a criticism (even if veiled) of the Pyongyang regime. I mean, they didn't have to print this (a similar story is in Korean), but they're laying it out there that North Korea's opponents seem to think there's some reason why unification might happen really, really soon. It would seem to me that that kind of thing is emboldening the rank-and-file party members and soldiers to switch sides to the winning team if anything should go wrong (and some of these people have been iffy since the Great Currency Obliteration of 2009).

Anyway, it's interesting the phrasing that President Lee chose, that "unification can come at midnight like a burglar." This sounds suspiciously like "a thief in the night," which comes from 1 Thessalonians 5:2, where St Paul was telling the church at Thessaloniki that the triumphant Day of the Lord would come in such an unexpected way.

One almost wonders if President Lee knows of something — evidence of an impending collapse and/or a deal with Beijing to let Pyongyang crumble and Seoul pick up the pieces (perhaps a deal like the one listed in the bottom third of this post). After all, he already has us paying a Unification Tax.

Hmm... Should we get the Mongolia estate ready?

KCNA releases Korean People's Army report on Yŏnpyŏng-do attack: "There is in the West Sea of Korea only the maritime military demarcation line set by the DPRK"

I think North Korea may have declared a reopening of inter-Korean hostilities but we are not yet grasping that. Note the very last line of the following report.

North Korea has decided that it is going to stop talking about the waters it claims south of the NLL (which it has never controlled except for a brief period when it occupied South Korea) and start turning it into a hot war, perhaps to bolster support for the military at a time when faith in the government is eroding (note that this has nothing to do with The Kim Who Wasn't There).

They are declaring that any activity in the area between the blue line (the Northern Limit Line followed since 1953) and the red line (the Maritime Military Demarcation Line they announced in 1999) in the map at right is an intrusion into DPRK territory that will be met with "merciless military counter-actions against it."All of that, I wish to point out, is ROK-controlled and filled with South Korean fishermen.

The Ch'ŏnan and Yŏnpyŏng-do, I fear, were only rounds 1 and 2.

The KCNA, for your ideological edification:

KPA Supreme Command Issues Communique

Pyongyang, November 23 (KCNA) -- The Supreme Command of the Korean People's Army Tuesday released the following communique:

The south Korean puppet group perpetrated such reckless military provocation as firing dozens of shells inside the territorial waters of the DPRK side around Yonphyong Islet in the West Sea of Korea from 13:00 on Nov. 23 despite the repeated warnings of the DPRK while staging the war maneuvers for a war of aggression on it codenamed Hoguk, escalating the tension on the Korean Peninsula.

The above-said military provocation is part of its sinister attempt to defend the brigandish "northern limit line," while frequently infiltrating its naval warships into the territorial waters of the DPRK side under the pretext of "intercepting fishing boats."

The revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK standing guard over the inviolable territorial waters of the country took such decisive military step as reacting to the military provocation of the puppet group with a prompt powerful physical strike.

It is a traditional mode of counter-action of the army of the DPRK to counter the firing of the provocateurs with merciless strikes.

Should the south Korean puppet group dare intrude into the territorial waters of the DPRK even 0.001 mm, the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK will unhesitatingly continue taking merciless military counter-actions against it.

It should bear in mind the solemn warning of the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK that they do not make an empty talk.

There is in the West Sea of Korea only the maritime military demarcation line set by the DPRK.

Great. After years and years of buffoonish bluster, now they stop making an empty talk.

KCNA: North Korea's statement on the Yŏnpyŏng-do attack

From the KCNA:

Statement Released by Spokesman of DPRK Foreign Ministry

Pyongyang, November 24 (KCNA) -- A spokesman for the DPRK Foreign Ministry Wednesday issued the following statement:

As already reported by the Supreme Command of the KPA, the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK on Nov. 23 took a decisive self-defensive measure to cope with the enemy's reckless military provocation of firing shells inside the territorial waters of the DPRK side around Yonphyong Islet in the West Sea of Korea.

The army of the DPRK warned several times that if even a single shell of the enemy is fired inside the territorial waters of the DPRK, it will take a prompt retaliatory strike in connection with the live shell firing drill they planned to stage from Yonphyong Islet while conducting the ill-famed war maneuvers for a war of aggression against the DPRK codenamed Hoguk.

At 8:00 a.m. on Nov. 23, the very day the incident occurred, the head of the delegation of the DPRK side to the inter-Korean military talks sent a telephone message to the head of the delegation of the enemy side once again strongly urging it to cancel the plan for staging the above-said firing drill in the waters around the islet, the sensitive waters.

This notwithstanding, the enemy committed such an extremely reckless military provocation as firing dozens of shells from the islet inside the territorial waters of the DPRK side from around 13:00.

The enemy fired shells from the islet which is so close to the territory of the DPRK that it is within each other's eyeshot despite the fact that there are so many mountains and rivers, sea waters and islets in south Korea. This powder-reeking saber-rattling cannot be construed otherwise than a politically motivated provocation.

The enemy is claiming that they fired shells southward from the islet in a bid not to get on the nerves of the DPRK but Yonphyong Islet is located deep inside the territorial waters of the DPRK away from the maritime military demarcation line. If live shells are fired from the islet, they are bound to drop inside the territorial waters of the DPRK side no matter in which direction they are fired because of such geographical features.

The ulterior aim sought by the enemy is to create the impression that the DPRK side recognized the waters off the islet as their "territorial waters", in case that there was no physical counter-action on the part of the former.

Herein lies the crafty and vicious nature of the enemy's provocation.

The army of the DPRK took such a self-defensive measure as making a prompt powerful strike at the artillery positions from which the enemy fired the shells as it does not make an empty talk.

This incident is one more dangerous development which took place because of the illegal "northern limit line" unilaterally fixed by Clark, UN forces commander, as he pleased on Aug. 30, 1953 after the conclusion of the Korean Armistice Agreement.

The U.S., its followers and some bosses of international bodies should drop such bad habit as thoughtlessly accusing somebody before learning about the truth about the incident.
If they shield south Korea, the criminal, without principle, just for being their ally, this is little short of feeding oil to the fire.

The DPRK that sets store by the peace and stability of the Korean Peninsula is now exercising superhuman self-control but the artillery pieces of the army of the DPRK, the defender of justice, remain ready to fire.

Given North Korea's illegitimate claim of a massive amount of maritime territory south of the NLL, just about any shell fired by any ship involved in a military exercise in South Korean waters off the Inchon coast would qualify as "even a single shell of the enemy [being] fired inside the territorial waters of the DPRK," under which "it will take a prompt retaliatory strike."

The language here makes clear that this was not, as some have tried to excuse it, a case of North Korea nervously firing back when they thought their area was under attack. This was premeditated and meant to send a message and inspire fear. This is the latest barrage in North Korea's recent campaign to make the waters south of the NLL — which it has never effectively controlled except for a brief period of time when it occupied South Korea — a new ideological, political, and actual battleground.

Further evidence of this comes from a KCNA report from the previous day — before the attack — blasting the ROK-US military exercises in the Yellow Sea:

The U.S. worked out new "defence cooperation guidelines" on the basis of upgrading its alliance with south Korea with its level and prospect in the new century in view. High-ranking officials of the U.S. Administration in public appearances asserted the importance of a new alliance with south Korea.

There came into being a strategic consultative mechanism for commanding a U.S.-Japan-south Korea force for actual operations and military consultative systems for various branches of arms were rounded off under the pretext of coping with the non-existent "threat" from the DPRK.

It was against this backdrop that the U.S. Department of Defense announced that it would stage the U.S.-south Korea joint military exercises in the West Sea of Korea at any cost with its nuclear-powered carrier George Washington involved.

The evermore undisguised moves of the U.S. to tighten the above-said alliance hint at a new phase of unchallenged military action to put not only the Korean Peninsula but the whole of the Asia-Pacific region under its control.

"Non-existent 'threat' from the DPRK"? Just one day before the DPRK shelled civilian targets, killing two of them (along with two military personnel)? This would be hilarious if it weren't so serious.

After reading several of these over the past few days, I'm beginning to wonder if unchallenged is not a code word foreshadowing a future attack.

North Korea's Songun-bolstering attack on Yonpyong-do: An ante upped?

On the drive home I caught Professor Brian Myers (author of The Cleanest Race, which deals with the nationalist cultism of North Korea) on the BBC, which was being broadcast, as it usually is at this time of night, through the local NPR affiliate.

His opinion echoed my own, that North Korea's Tuesday attack on South Korea's Yŏnpyŏng-do Island [aka Yeonpyeong-do] could only have happened because the ROK failed to retaliate in any meaningful (read: proportionate or greater military response) when the Ch'ŏnan was sunk. He also focused heavily on how this kind of thing would be necessary in a country whose raison d'être lies with its military, hence the so-called Songun [선군/先軍, sŏn•gun] policy.

I couldn't find a BBC link to the Professor Myers interview, but here's a link to him appearing on NPR, where he may echo similar thoughts.

His talk of Songun Policy reminded me that just the other day, in my search of KCNA news items for mentions of Kim Jong-un, I ran across what seemed even before the attack to be two quite notable Songun-praising editorials. One talks about the importance of the Songun spirit, but the second seems eerily but opaquely foreshadowing, given Tuesday's events:

The sovereignty of the country and peace cannot be achieved without frustrating the high-handed and arbitrary practices of the imperialists and their moves for aggression. In order to win a victory in the fierce confrontation with the imperialists it is necessary, first of all, to bolster the military capability in every way.

Rodong Sinmun Thursday observes this in a signed article.

Songun politics provides a sure guarantee for defending the sovereignty of the country and peace and attaching importance to the military affairs serves as a principle to be always held fast to under the situation where the imperialists exist and the danger of war persists due to them, the article notes, and goes on:

Independence can neither be defended by mere talking nor can the prosperity and development of a country be achieved by begging.

Military capability provides the surest guarantee for the prosperity and development of a country and nation. Only when a country is strong in its military capability can it emerge victorious in the confrontation with the imperialists.

It is of particular importance for the countries exposed to the imperialists' great threat of aggression to augment the might of Songun. At present the imperialists regard those countries which assert an independent stand and those countries situated in the strategically important regions as the main targets of their invasion and military interference, while making every possible effort not to deteriorate their relations with big countries. Therefore, the developing countries and small countries should build up their military capability in order not to fall victim to the imperialists' invasion and war.

Any illusion about the imperialists means a death. To harbor any illusion about the imperialists is little short of surrendering before them with their hands raised. One should not be taken in by the "appeasement" policy of the imperialists.

It is necessary to always hold fast to the Songun politics, the most effective all-powerful treasured sword in the present times. This provides the master key to foiling the imperialists' policy of strength and accomplishing the human cause of independence, the cause of peace.

The Korean people will as ever bolster the defence capability of the country in every way and consolidate the unity and cohesion of the revolutionary ranks with the People's Army as the core to be unbreakable ones under the uplifted banner of Songun in view of the evermore undisguised moves of the imperialists for aggression and thus reliably protect the sovereignty and security of the country and make a positive contribution to ensuring the world peace.

War is peace. Military-first is the people first. Freedom is slavery. We have always been at war with Southkorea.

KCNA: Ramie cloth enjoys a resurgence, but Kim Jong-un doesn't

Some random items from the KCNA...

North Korea is upset because the Unification Ministry won't return their calls.

In cultural news, North Korea is all about traditional Korean stuff. This includes ramie, known in Korean as moshich'ŏn [모시천]:

Clothes, including national dresses, made of ramie fabric are enjoying increasing popularity in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

According to the Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms (Koguryo, Paekje, and Silla) and other old documents, Korea had an advanced technology of weaving ramie cloth and exported it to other countries already in the middle ages.

Ramie cloth, well known as a special product of Korea, is as stiff as starched one and makes people feel cool.

It is used with and without bleach.

The durable and fadeproof cloth is not easily wet with sweat, so it has been taken for summer dresses from old times.

The production of ramie cloth is based on modern technologies in the country.

The Korean-language article is here. For reference, The Chronicles of the Three Kingdoms is Samguk Sagi, an ancient historical work.

I'm glad that the KCNA puts out stories like this; it reinforces a shared history (and relatively free of propaganda) that can serve as a bridge when/if reunification eventually occurs.

Frankly, though, while I find some of the clothing made with ramie aesthetically pleasing, when I've had to wear the stuff, I found it itchy. But that's me; I'm very picky about certain types of cotton towel as well. Here's the same article in Korean.

Meanwhile, there was a preview of a movie on the Juche spirit, Lovely Sunshine. The KCNA mentioned Kim Jong-il twice:

The film impressively represents the noble ideological and moral world of servicemen's families who set an example in mass culture and arts, bearing in mind such profound trust shown by leader Kim Jong Il as putting forward them as women revolutionaries and the second bugler in the era of Songun.

The film tells stories that art works rich in ideological contents and high in artistry are being produced and truthful acting is presented thanks to such intense loyalty of officers' wives as firmly believing and following Kim Jong Il only, a striking proof of the vitality of the contest among the art groups of servicepersons' families, a product of the era of Songun.

What was notably absent from the KCNA report? Kim Jong-un.

Pyongyang really, really, really, really insists they didn't sink the Ch'ŏnan

And to prove it, they're offering a sample of one of their torpedoes to show it isn't like the one that sunk the South Korean vessel, killing four dozen people.

From Reuters:

North Korea has denied it was responsible for the attack, and state news agency KCNA published on Tuesday what it said was "the first installment of a statement disclosing the truth behind the Cheonan case."

It said the North was willing to provide a steel alloy sample of one of its torpedoes to Washington and Seoul, adding that "aluminum alloy fragments prove themselves that the torpedo was not from the north."

It would be an intriguing development if it turned out that a type of material revealed in the South Korean government investigation wasn't even used in North Korean-made torpedoes. That would mean nothing, though, as a major attack like that could easily (and preferably) have been done with a foreign-made torpedo. This "announcement," though, is intended to sow more seeds of doubt and resentment by conspiracy theorists in the South who doubt just about anything that comes from the Lee government.

I was unable to find this news item in the KCNA reports, though it may appear in the November 2 or November 3 editions; November 1 is their latest.

I did find out, however, that the Pyongyang Mechanical Pencil Factory has developed a new type of mechanical pencil, a product of North Korea's push toward the much-touted CNC technology.

KCNA news links

• Even if I'm right about Kim Jong-il's China trip signaling an intention to impose Chinese-style reforms, the Dear Leader wants the country and especially the military to know that his songun (sŏn'gun, or "military first") policy is still firmly in place.

• The North Koreans have given back the fishermen "engaged in illegal fishing operation" who were intercepted on August 8. They were forgiven for the "intolerable infringement on the sovereignty of the DPRK" on the basis of "compatriotic and humanitarian points of view." The fishermen apologized for their transgression, of course, which shows again that (in cases involving "foreigners" at least) the North and South aren't so far apart.

• The "president of the State of Palestine" sent KJI a floral basket on the occasion of the 62nd anniversary of the founding of the DPRK. Lots of other leaders did, too, but none of them are heads-of-state of a state whose state as a state is usually not stated by other states.

• We've always been on the brink of war with Southkorea. 

KCNA on Carter visit to Pyongyang

Things like this are a good read for what you glean about (a) what Carter might have given up in exchange for Aijalon Mahli Gomes and (b) what the DPRK regime thinks it may have gotten or will get from the visit. So here it is, straight from the mouthpiece:

Report on Jimmy Carter's Visit to DPRK

Pyongyang, August 27 (KCNA) -- Jimmy Carter, ex-president of the United States, and his party visited the DPRK from Aug. 25 to 27.

Kim Yong Nam, president of the Presidium of the Supreme People's Assembly, met and had a talk with them.

He discussed with Carter the pending issues of mutual concern between the DPRK and the U.S.

Kim Yong Nam expressed the will of the DPRK government for the denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula and the resumption of the six-party talks.

In particular, he emphasized that it is the behest of President Kim Il Sung to denuclearize the peninsula.

Jimmy Carter made an apology to Kim Yong Nam for American Gomes' illegal entry into the DPRK and gave him the assurance that such case will never happen again on behalf of the government and the ex-president of the U.S. He asked Kim Yong Nam to convey to General Secretary Kim Jong Il a message courteously requesting him to grant special pardon to Gomes to leniently forgive him and let him go home.

After receiving a report on the request made by the U.S. government and Carter, Kim Jong Il issued an order of the chairman of the DPRK National Defence Commission on granting amnesty to Gomes, an illegal entrant, pursuant to Article 103 of the Socialist Constitution of the DPRK.

Carter expressed deep thanks for this.

Earlier, the U.S. deputy assistant secretary of State for Consular Affairs and his party visited Pyongyang from August 9 to 11 in connection with the case of Gomes and met officials of the Foreign Ministry and a relevant legal body of the DPRK.

The DPRK side took measures as an exception to ensure that they met Gomes three times and confirmed his condition. The U.S. side offered gratitude for these humanitarian measures.

The measure taken by the DPRK to set free the illegal entrant is a manifestation of its humanitarianism and peace-loving policy.

During the visit Carter and his party met and had an open-hearted discussion with the DPRK's foreign minister and vice foreign minister for U.S. affairs on the DPRK-U.S. relations, the resumption of the six-party talks, the denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula and other issues of mutual concern.

They also enjoyed a performance given by the State Symphony Orchestra.

The Pyongyang visit paid by Jimmy Carter, ex-president of the U.S., provided a favorable occasion of deepening the understanding and building confidence between the two countries.

"At the behest of President Kim Ilsung"?! That's right: the Great Leader and eternal president, despite being dead for over a decade and a half, is still dictating policy.

There were two more perfunctory pieces, one reporting on an undisclosed gift (top two guesses: a $700K check or a bag of peanuts) which the KCNA says "Kim Jong-il was presented" (did they meet?), and the other one announcing Mr Carter's departure, when he was seen off by Vice Minister of Foreign Affairs Kim Kyegwan.

KCNA: South Korea's Chonan report "will lead to a dirge of the traitorous clique"

You gotta love lines like that. The KCNA report in its entirety:

The south Korean puppet authorities finally issued the "results of investigation" in which they groundlessly linked the case of the sinking of a warship with the DPRK despite the accusations and protest at home and abroad. This is an intolerable provocation against the DPRK and an undisguised declaration of a war against it. Rodong Sinmun Sunday says this in a signed commentary.

The commentary goes on: It is also an intentional and premeditated plot to push the inter-Korean relations to total collapse and ignite a war of aggression against the DPRK in collusion with their U.S. and Japanese masters under the pretext of the ship case.

The ship case was an unprecedented charade crafted by the group of traitors keen on escalating confrontation.

The "investigation into the case" was nothing but a red herring as it was aimed to zealously spread a rumor about the "north's involvement in the case" and thus fan up atmosphere for extreme animosity toward fellow countrymen and confrontation with them among south Koreans of different circles and, at the same time, openly unleash a war of aggression against the DPRK in collusion with foreign forces under the pretext of what it called "security crisis".

A saying goes a club is fit for a mad dog. The army and people of the DPRK will never pardon the group of traitors getting hell-bent on confrontation and war, dare taking issue with fellow countrymen.

We do not know empty talk.

The reckless racket of the puppet forces will lead to a dirge of the traitorous clique.

I did not know about the saying that "a club is fit for a mad dog." The only Korean saying I could think of off the top of my head involving dogs is, "개 똥도 약에 쓰려면 없다," which is a quite useful saying. I know that whenever mŏn halmŏni griped about all the calling cards left by the three dogs at our house, that was exactly what I would say to her in response.

And this is what the KCNA has to say about the Chonan announcement

As if any of this is a surprise:

A spokesman for the Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of Korea (CPRK) issued a statement on Friday assailing the south Korean puppet forces for releasing extremely provocative "results of the investigation" into the sinking of a warship of the south Korean puppet navy in a bid to hurl mud at the north.

The statement noted that the publication of the above-said "results of the investigation" is another extremely ridiculous charade staged by the puppet group in a bid to hurt the dignity of the DPRK, steadily tighten the "sanctions" against it, harm and suffocate it in conspiracy with its U.S. and Japanese masters, much upset by the might of the Republic advancing by leaps and bounds toward a thriving nation.

I think it's quite notable that they included Japan in this list of South Korea's masters. Looks like they're partying like it's 1949 up there. Seriously, that's a bit of a rarity, and it may indicate that Pyongyang is nervous about Tokyo potentially joining any action against Pyongyang.

The drumbeat goes on:

The Lee Myung Bak group, while working with bloodshot eyes to escalate confrontation with fellow countrymen, drew the conclusion from the day the case occurred that the warship was "sunken by the north" and has since conducted intensive investigation on its basis to hatch a plot, the statement said, and went on:

In the course of nearly two month-long investigation the puppet group fabricated what it called "circumstantial evidence" with conjecture, supposition and random guess. It just produced fragments and pieces of aluminum whose origin remains unknown as "evidence," becoming the target of derision.

Right there... right there is where you have the chinboista fifth-column canned response. Right there. Oh, and I love the part about Lee Myungbak's bloodshot eyes. As if those things are wide enough for anybody to recognize any color inside them.

Greatly irony is that it deliberately linked the case with the north, talking about the results of the analysis of composition of the unidentified "evidence" without any marking and its size and type.

This is nothing but a shameful deed of those keen on escalating the confrontation with the north.

The Lee group's assertion that the above-said case is linked with the north is the last-ditch effort of those who face destruction as it is a premeditated and deliberate plot to tide over a serious crisis created due to the total failure of its domestic and foreign policies and smoothly stage the "elections to the local self-governing bodies" in a bid to maintain the fascist rule and bring the inter-Korean relations to a collapse.

That sounds eerily like what the North is trying to do. Project much?

The puppet forces are now kicking up such fuss as creating atmosphere reminiscent of a wartime situation in south Korea, blustering they would not "rule out a war" and crying out for "counter-measures", urgently evacuating the personnel, equipment and materials of the south side from the areas of the north side and issuing top secret order for taking steps for personal safety and making preparations for withdrawal.

This racket reminding one of an eve of a war goes to prove that the group's recent publication of the "results of investigation" was not a mere clarification of the sinking of the warship but a carefully calculated provocation to seek a pretext for igniting a war of aggression against the north together with outside forces.

The puppet group has created such grave situation on the Korean Peninsula that a war may break out right now.

Pursuant to the statement issued by a spokesman for the National Defence Commission, the Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of Korea solemnly declares as follows, speaking for the DPRK government authorities:

Firstly, from now on the DPRK will regard the present situation as the phase of a war and decisively handle all matters arising in the inter-Korean relations to cope with it.

Secondly, in case the puppet group opts for "counter-action" and "retaliation" under the pretext of the sinking of the warship, the DPRK will strongly react to them with such merciless punishment as the total freeze of the inter-Korean relations, the complete abrogation of the north-south agreement on non-aggression and a total halt to the inter-Korean cooperation undertakings.

The DPRK will never pardon anyone hurting its supreme dignity and doing harm to it, warned the statement.

So if we take this at face value, then North Korea geared-up for an expected attack by the South.

It would seem then, that if the North was really behind this for the purposes of ratcheting up inter-Korean tensions in order to distract the DPRK citizenry from all the economic problems swirling around them, they have successfully snatched this opportunity back from the South, which had demonstrated its refusal to play along by painstakingly analyzing the situation instead of immediately reacting.

Apologies for that run-on sentence. I've been reading too many KCNA reports.

Thirtieth anniversary of Kwangju Uprising celebrated... in Pyongyang

To those of us who make the case that the Kwangju Uprising/Massacre/Rebellion/Whatever-you-call-it was not done under the direction of North Korean operatives, it becomes a bit challenging when North Korea itself honors those who were part of the struggle.

From the KCNA:

The Kwangju Popular Uprising was a just anti-U.S. and anti-fascist democratic resistance waged by the south Korean people to achieve the independence and democracy of society and the country's reunification against the colonial fascist rule of the U.S. imperialists and their lackeys. And it was a popular armed uprising in which all the citizens of Kwangju rose against the U.S. imperialists and the puppet military fascist clique, braving death.

Yang Hyong Sop said in his report that the uprising ended in a failure due to the U.S. imperialists and the puppet military fascist clique's barbarous bloody suppression, but it shook the colonial fascist rule of south Korea to its very foundation, fully demonstrated the indomitable will and heroic stamina of the south Korean people to achieve the independence and democracy of society and the country's reunification and powerfully encouraged the oppressed people in colonies to the struggle for national liberation.

The uprising taught the south Korean people a bitter lesson that the U.S. imperialists are the heinous aggressors and murderers who do not hesitate to commit horrible genocide when they deem it necessary for achieving their purpose of domination and meeting their interests and that they can never realize any desire unless the military presence and colonial domination of the U.S. imperialists are brought to an end, the reporter noted.

And in the spirit of the coming together of North and South Korea for the Kim-Kim summit of 2000, the article suggested obstructing the business of the ROK government:

Saying that this year is a significant year marking the 10th anniversary of the June 15 joint declaration and the 30th anniversary of the proposal for founding the Democratic Federal Republic of Koryo, he called upon all the compatriots in the north and the south and abroad to courageously frustrate all obstructions of the anti-reunification forces at home and abroad under the banner of the joint declaration and vigorously accelerate the nation-wide grand march for reunification.

Someday, in a reunified Korea, the KCNA will have morphed into a normal news outlet, à la Pravda, and this will all be a distant memory. Ah, KCNA. Is it too much to ask you, don't ever change?

Meanwhile, I can't wait until this "light comedy" comes to the Sejong Cultural Center.

KCNA Terms U.S. World's Worst Human Rights Abuser

And speaking of human rights, here's a lovely editorial from the KCNA. The sad thing is, no small number of college students will try to convince you of at least a few of these points:

Pyongyang, March 27 (KCNA) -- The Korean Central News Agency issued an indictment slamming the U.S. hideous human rights abuses. It brands the U.S. human rights racket as a poor artifice to cover up its poorest human rights record and threaten and blackmail sovereign states.

Citing facts to prove that the U.S. is beset with the most serious human right abuses in the world, the indictment says:

The U.S. is a society where the law of the jungle governs.

In this society one can live only by way of racketeering and through fraud and swindle. Without these practices one cannot but be pushed to the fringes of society where one can not keep body and soul together, denied even the elementary rights to eat, get clad and have a shelter. Yet, the rulers there trumpet about "welfare for all" and "equality for all." This is the true picture of the corrupt American society.

The human life and inviolable rights are exposed to constant threat in the American society where all sorts of crimes are rampant.

The gun-related crimes plague the society like "chronic epidemic."

Existent only in name in the U.S. are a man's rights to get jobs, to be fairly paid for the work done and to be provided with safe and hygienic working conditions, etc.

To be seen in the U.S. are such sounding and spurious signboards of "liberty," "democracy" and "civilization." A scrutiny into its society proves that in the U.S. the socio-political rights and civil rights of the majority of working masses are grossly violated institutionally and the healthy development of the ideological and cultural fields is impeded due to the prevalence of social evils.

Elections in the U.S. are nothing but competitions among the rich.

The "freedom of thinking and free expression of views," "freedom of speech" and "freedom of demonstration and assembly" much touted by the U.S. are mere facades.

The civil rights require state guarantee and protection as they are provided for by law.
Civil rights are wantonly violated by state power in the U.S.

A particular mention should be made of the fact that illegal wiretapping is now rampant in the U.S., sparking off a public furor.

What merits a more serious attention is that the judicial authorities are taking the lead in human rights abuses though they are obliged to protect the civil rights.

Police have become a synonym for hooligans and criminals in the U.S.

The authorities' abuse of rights of prisoners is now censured by the international community.
Drug abuses getting more rife in the U.S. with each passing day are producing an increasing number of mental and physical cripples.

Racial discrimination has festered in the American society ever since the emergence of the U.S.
The rights of women and children are ruthlessly trampled down upon in the American society governed by the law of the jungle.

Wars of aggression and military interventions perpetrated by the U.S. in different countries and regions under the signboard of "anti-terror war" are the worst state-sponsored terrorism and, at the same time, the most hideous human rights abuses.

This is eloquently proved by the facts that in many countries where the U.S. is fighting a "war on terrorism" a great number of innocent citizens are losing their lives and properties and leading a miserable life due to the evil cycle of massacre, destruction, violence and terror perpetrated by the U.S. occupation forces.

The U.S. blockade and sanctions against other countries are also criminal acts of encroaching upon the rights of their peoples to exist and develop.

The U.S. can never shirk off its responsibility for the hideous crimes it has committed against humanity by putting mankind's right to existence at peril as it is chiefly to blame for the present financial and economic crisis.

The U.S. makes no scruple of ruthlessly violating the religions and freedom of religious beliefs of other countries and nations.

It is a country with the poorest human rights record as it hamstrings the international efforts for the protection and promotion of human rights.

All facts go to clearly prove that the U.S. is the world's worst human rights abuser.
It had better seriously repent of its own human rights issue and human rights abuses before styling itself a "human rights judge" jeered by the world.

Well, there are some good points. There's In-'N-Out, plus the ability to be, say, a birther without becoming a deather.

KCNA on ROK-US joint military exercise

It's always fun to read histrionic news releases from North Korea's state-run Korea Central News Agency:

Upon receiving the recently released report of the Supreme Command of the Korean People's Army, all the servicepersons and people of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea have let loose their anger at the reckless moves of U.S. imperialists and south Korean puppets against the DPRK.

KPA officer Ri Hyok Chol told KCNA that the start of the Key Resolve and Foal Eagle joint military maneuvers has created a touch-and-go situation on the Korean peninsula.

"To cope with the grave situation we, servicepersons, will keep ourselves ready to crush down any provocation of the enemies seeking a preemptive attack, and annihilate the aggressors once given an order of action, while focusing on military training in high spirits," he said.

He also said, "If the enemy dares to intrude into our sky, land and seas even an inch, our revolutionary armed forces will mete out a decisive and merciless punishment to the invaders, fully demonstrating the invincible might of our army led by the brilliant commander."

Ri Un Chon, a department director of the Ministry of Metal Industry, in an interview with KCNA said that the Korean people whose might has been enhanced remarkably under the Songun politics would mow down invaders to defend General Secretary Kim Jong Il, the great sun of the nation, and the socialist land, the cradle of their happiness.

The Korean army and people are of the view that the aggressive war racket intended to hold in check the dynamic advance of Songun Korea is an intolerable act against the Korean reunification and that it only hardens their will and resolution to remain faithful to the Songun politics of the Workers' Party of Korea.

Workers, including those of the Kim Chaek Iron and Steel Complex and the February 8 Vinalon Complex, are now effecting a fresh upsurge in production, and such achievements have been reported in all sectors of the building of a thriving nation.

When the DPRK regime falls, these folks will be able to get jobs as b-movie war film screenwriters.

KCNA on the Samil Movement's 91st anniversary

It's not exactly a hobby, but every now and then I like reading what the KCNA propagandists say about Korean stuff. For example, did you know that the Samil Movement, also known as the March First Movement, started in Pyongyang? Now you do:

Pyongyang, March 1 (KCNA) -- Ninety-one years has elapsed since the March First Popular Uprising took place in Korea.

It was a nationwide patriotic struggle to achieve the liberation of the country from the Japanese imperialists' rule and win the sovereignty of the nation.

After illegally occupying Korea early in the 20th century the Japanese imperialists had infringed upon the Korean nation's dignity and sovereignty with a mediaeval military rule, turning the whole land of Korea into a large prison without bars.

The Korean people's grudge and resentment against their heinous colonial rule finally burst into a nationwide uprising on March 1, Juche 8 (1919).

It started in Pyongyang. Patriotic students of Pyongyang Sungsil Middle School, turned into a strong base of the anti-Japanese independence movement by indomitable revolutionary Kim Hyong Jik, and thousands of people gathered in the playground of Sungdok Girls' School at noon and listened to "Declaration of Independence" before taking to the streets to stage a fierce demonstration, chanting "Long live the independence of Korea!" and "Japanese and their army, out of Korea!"

The number of demonstrators multiplied soon into more than 100,000 in spite of the Japanese imperialists' brutal crackdown.

The demonstration spread over not only the whole country but also Manchuria, Shanghai, Maritime Province, Hawaii, etc.

Korean people who had suffered a miserable lot of an enslaved nation took part in the uprising in all parts of the country irrespective of occupation and religious faith, age and sex.

Within three months since the start of the uprising, more than two million people of all social strata joined the uprising and demonstrations and riots totaled over 3,200 times till the end of the year.

The March First Popular Uprising was a historical event which demonstrated the Korean people's independent and patriotic spirit of not tolerating outsiders' rule.

Hmm... not much mention of Pagoda Park in Seoul, the largely Christian group that declared independence based on the American declaration and Wilson's principles of self-determination, or even that so many people were able to gather in Seoul under the cover of attending the late Emperor Kojong's funeral. Good on them, though, for mentioning Hawaii (which is an inadvertent nod, sort of, to Syngman Rhee) and people of different religious faiths.