Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
People who skip breakfast tend to lose their virginity earlier, according to researchers in Japan.I'm just glad that clever headline writers didn't realize that Japanese breakfast is a lot like other meals of the day, possibly including soup rather than corn flakes, otherwise we'd have ended up with headlines like "Miso horny" or some such.
In a study of 3000 people, those who did not regularly eat breakfast in their early teens said they lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5, versus an overall average age of 19 for all Japanese.
Those who had a morning meal when they were younger had their first sexual experience at 19.4 years.
The study, backed by Japan's health ministry, was aimed at finding ways to curb unwanted pregnancies. It concluded that a stable home life discouraged early sex.
"Those unhappy with their parents - such as for not preparing breakfast - may tend to find a way to release their frustration by having sex," said Kunio Kitamura, head of the Japan Family Planning Association who led the research.
"If children don't feel comfortable in their family environment, they tend to go out."
Young people who start having sex early tended to miss breakfast because they return home late, he said.
Oh, wait, there's more:
Japan has one of the world's lowest birthrates as more young people put off starting families, finding them a burden on their careers or lifestyles.If sex is a pain, you're not doing it right.
The survey also found that nearly 40 per cent of married couples had not had sex in more than a month.
Respondents said they were too tired because of work or found sex to be a pain, according to the study.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Two South Korean automakers — the Hyundai Motor Company and the Kia Motors Corporation — cut their joint 2008 sales forecast by 12.5 percent Monday and said they would freeze pay for managers amid slumping vehicle demand.
Separately, a smaller rival, the Ssangyong Motor Company, said it might not be able to meet its December payroll on time.
Hyundai and Kia said in a statement that they now expected total sales to reach 4.2 million vehicles this year, compared with an earlier forecast of 4.8 million. Overseas inventories, meanwhile, are expected to reach 1.06 million vehicles, the statement said.
It's really not a good year for anybody. Unless, of course, you're one of those looking to buy a brand new car, real cheap, with 0% financing.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I once watched a movie with the current CIA director, Michael Hayden. Specifically, Enemy of the State, starring Will Smith (who by contract, has a starring role in every other movie in the 1990s and 2000s) and Gene Hackman (who had a similar contract in the 1970s and 1980s).
- Garlic stinks. Stinks like a muther fv¢ker*.
- You consume the whole garlic in the form of ethnic food (e.g., Korean or Italian).
- Now you stink.
- Not just your breath, but the sweat coming out of your pores.
- No one of the opposite sex wants to get anywhere near you, and certainly not close enough to initiate sexual contact of any kind.
- Decreased sexual opportunity translates into decreased exposure to risk of deadly STDs (e.g., HIV, antibiotic-resistant chlamydia, HPV, and dementia-induing syphilis that causes you to engage in unnecessarily reckless automobile operation).
- You live longer than the people who got any of the above disorders.
- You die miserable and alone (and smelling of garlic), but at least you were here longer. Woo hoo! Kudos to you and your mad longevity skills.
- No matter how many times they slap "odor control formula" on the box, that stinks as well.
- Supplements enter the stomach.
- Gastric juices dissolve the supplement's outer covering.
- Noxious garlic gas is released.
- You stink just the same as if you had eaten a bowl full of authentic Sicilian pasta topped with a jar of kimchi.
- You're too much of a gullible idiot to grasp that you now stink despite the promises on the box. The evil, lying box.
- Continue from #4 in Part A.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
This season contestants vying for the $1 million prize in Gabon were tasked with invading a local native village, finding out in which hut the chief lived, and then torching it.
Let's be honest here: Under Saddam Hussein, would he have had the luxury of an extra pair of shoes he could toss away to make a political statement?
Holy crap! This man did what loads of people around the world (including many Americans) wish they could've done. I hope when this guy gets out of prison he still has motor function in both his arms so he enjoy all the drinks folks will be buying him for the rest of his life.
Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Hold on... Can you hear me NOW? The reception's no good here... I'm driving through a gulag.
[In all seriousness, life in North Korea is not a joke for most people. The ruling elite has a stranglehold on the general population which lives in fear of Pyongyang because of what would happen to not just them but their families if they were to show dissent. Humor can sometimes highlight how we ignore an ongoing human catastrophe or find ourselves powerless to do anything about it, but it should never be used to allow us to mentally dismiss what's going on.]SOLscreaming out loud
ROFBTrolling on the floor being tortured
ROFBIBErolling on the floor because I'm being electrocuted
-o-mindlessly shouting praises about Dear Leader Kim Jong-il
I've been beaten so badly by the police that I can't open my eyes.
FATIPPfamily all together in political prison
0_0No matter what I just saw, I'm keeping my effing mouth shut!
@_@No matter what I just saw, I'm keeping my effing mouth shut! (with glasses)
I was keeping my mouth shut, but they clubbed me in the head anyway, just to make sure I kept it shut.
@_XThose bastards broke my glasses! What the hell's the matter with them?! I was going to keep quiet!
X_XThose shitheads hit me again! As soon as I defect, I'm getting LASIK.
' ' 'I've consumed three grains of rice today.
' ' '/7I'm down to three grains of rice per week.
' ' '/30(Don't make me explain this one; it's just too sad to think about.)
My neighbor has starved to death.
o<-< >->o o<-< >->oThe authorities came to the village to teach us a lesson about what happens if we smuggle in DVDs of South Korean television dramas from across the border with China.
OTLI'm searching the ground for anything even remotely edible.
\0/Please, please, please, for the love of God, come and save us.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Warning: Although this is probably the stupidest thing I've ever written, it does contain actual useful information about lactose intolerance, which you can easily find if you just scroll down and look for stuff in red. Doesn't this color arrangement look so Christmasy?
When I wake up in the morning, I'm completely okay. It's not until later in the day that I start getting the cramping pain, which feels like someone or something is squeezing my stomach hard. There's also some bloating.
Bloating? Cramps? That sounds like your monthly visitor, cowboy.
What can I say? He's great in the sack.
Hey, I know my girlfriend's just outside, but I wanted to tell you that I think you're totally hot.