Person on the street: What do you know about the Japanese colonization of Korea?

Imperial Japan just wanted to live peaceably with Korea. But Korea didn't want to have anything to do with us, so we had to go to war and defeat them.

— Kazuo Nakagawa, horticulturalist and graffiti artist

I heard that before the Japanese were invited to Korea, the Koreans were really in bad shape. They mostly ate roots that they dug up, and when food was really scarce, they ate their own feces. The Japanese colonizers showed them how to use chopsticks.

— Naoko Hirotsu, high school student

The Koreans loved us and were happy when we ruled them. The Korean War broke out because the South Koreans wanted to become Japanese again and the North said no.

— Hiro Ozawa, sushi sous-chef

Before Japan ruled Korea, everyone in Korea was Blood Type B. The Japanese government helped make everybody in Korea Type O or Type A. But the war ended and Korea was liberated before they were finished, so there are still Type B and Type AB people. These are the ones who hate Japan and stole Takeshima.

— Shiho Nomura, physics professor

Until 1895, Korea was ruled by an army of vicious monkeys. The Japanese defeated the evil simians in a bloody sumo contest held on Bamboo Island and took their place. But they were concerned that the Koreans would be embarrassed that they had once been ruled by monkeys, so the new Japanese rulers pretended they were the rulers of Korea from the beginning. That's how much Japan cared about Korea.

— Tsuyoshi Kumamoto, anime extra

The Koreans are originally from Japan. Their language is the same as ours, except they changed all the words so we wouldn't figure it out.

— Mayuko Akatsuka, hedge fund manager

What's a Korea?

— Anna Oishi, professional eating contest participant and game-show model

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