Saturday, January 21, 2006

Community standards

Jodi recently wrote that she has over 1000 hits a day (quite healthy if she does say so herself), and she did so not long after I mentioned that I had 100. Naturally, since the world does revolve around me, and therefore everything that happens in the world happens because it is somehow related to me, I can't help but assume that she's just rubbing my nose in it.

Asia Pages gets such high numbers because "Asia" pages gets listed when people google Asian mail-order brides or porn. I get googled when people are looking for obscure Japanese fabric or they've misspelled an even more obscure Japanese martial art.

One would think that with my witty banter and laser-like insight I could get tens of thousands of hits a day, but it's only an intellectual few that appreciate my pithy proclamations. What I need is a "
girl Friday" kind of thing [UPDATE after Lost Nomad closed down: like this], but without being so overtly pandering to the number of hits that my ruse is too obvious.

I mean, if I really am going to include gratuitous pictures of sexy women, it's got to look non-gratuitous (like
here—I thought the woman with dark hair was kinda cute).

And that means I guess I could get away with showing things like these pictures below, because, by golly, they're in the
Chosun Ilbo of all places.

These women, professional nude models, were part of a staged "nude yoghurt fight" designed to advertise a new product for a domestic dairy. The Seoul appellate court ruled Friday that their "performance" was "obscene" because it had no artistic merit and... Ah, who the hell cares?! It's bare butts and pixelated nipples!

Okay, here's my serious take on this (what would
Kushibo-e Kibun be without a serious take?): Isn't it ironic that the nude models (one of them named Park) and the dairy (abbreviated S... Saeil? Sasteur? Senmark? Sonsei? Oh, what could it be?) can be fined for an obscene display, but a mainstream newspaper can post pictures of said obscene display and it's all okay? What's the difference between the closed "performance" and the open-to-the-public newspaper? Maybe Bush knows the answer.

Anyway, lest anyone think I've thrown my standards out the window, no, I am not shirking my social responsibility (children might be reading this blog—won't someone think of the children?!) by claiming "community standards" with whatever I post here from now on. I just have a
new standard: If it can show up in the Chosun Ilbo, that bastion of conservative Korean political values, it's fair game at Kushibo-e Kibun. And you're all feeling my kibun now.

This is wonderful! I don't even have to include a "not safe for work" warning because—hey!—it's in the
Chosun Ilbo! Your boss comes by and says, "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! What the foxtrot are you looking at?!" but you can turn to him or her and say, "Pictures from the Chosun Ilbo, sir or ma'am."

If your same- or different-gendered co-worker comes by and says that she or he is offended that you have these pictures up for all who crane their necks to view your monitor to see, then you can tell her or him to go sue the
Chosun Ilbo. If the spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, or animated Real Doll gets offended, you can just say, "Honey, I'm reading commentary about the Chosun Ilbo."

Community standards, baby! How can you
not love this?

Um, Mom, if you're reading this... er, um... I'm trying to make a bold statement about how so-called "community standards" is a totally bogus cop-out which excuses people to post trash like this.

Okay, everyone, my mom's gone now. Just wait and watch those numbers at the bottom just shoot through the roof.

Oh, crap, I forgot the most important thing, the
google bait: nude Koreans in Asia doing nude and naked performance, splattered in milky products of some kind. That's right, they're nude Koreans. Or maybe nude Japanese. Maybe these nude Koreans or nude Japanese (naked sexy Asians of some kind) want to have sex with you. Check out their Korean asses and non-uncensored nipples!

in Kushibo's best Mr. Burns voice] Ex~cellent!