The whole launch thing has led me to liken North Korea to a television show, but I think I'm going to take that analogy even further: Has North Korea jumped the shark?
admitting to the people that it fu¢ked up that things have really turned a corner.
|Failure to Launch is a movie|
and a TV program.
Just as before, here are some of the possibilities for which I'll try to make an over-under for this gentlemen's bet (again, also open to ladies and English teachers):
- North Korea adopts Deng-era Chinese economic reforms, which brings "socialism with Korean characteristics" and transforms the DPRK into a version of Guangdong. Meaning if you are not one of the elite then you are royally fu¢ked, though the government will stop trying to kill you if you splatter soup on your Kim Ilsung badge.
- Reformers somehow manage a coup, à la the Arab Spring, but without Islamists taking all the seats in the resulting election.
- North Korea starts to implode, but in its death throes it decides to unleash everything on Seoul, Ilsan, and P'aju, in a fit of "if I can't have you then no one can" brought on by too many Korean television dramas.
- Calmly and coolly, the North Korean elite (with or without Kim Jong-un and his family's support) decide to enter into an official federation with South Korea. The two Koreas drop claims that Koreans are the Jews, Irish, or Italians of Asia, and instead decide to go with Czechoslovakians.
- Kim Jong-un has a nasty accident while giving on-the-spot advice to machine operators at a chicken butchering plant. Prodigal son Kim Jong-nam is brought in from Macau to serve as a uniter not just between factions but between North Korea and the world community. Unfortunately, he loses North Hamgyŏng Province in a high-stakes pai gow match.
- Kim Jong-un makes steps down and allows free and open elections, makes nice with US officials who allow him to go into exile in Ohio (which has the exact same weather as North Korea), where he opens up a Hamhung-style noodle shop called "KJU's DPRK in Cincinnati."
- Nothing changes. The "Young General Show" runs, like The Simpsons, for another twenty-five years with no end in sight.