Saturday, May 21, 2011

Are you prepared for a zombie attack?

The CDC thinks you should be:
So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.
I applaud the CDC's efforts to take the threat of zombies seriously. What with prions in the meat supply (Mad Cow Disease), genetically modified food modifying our genes in who knows what ways, and superbugs sitting like ticking time bombs in a lot of people's guts, it's better to be safe than sorry.

I am always chiding "M," who is afraid of cockroaches (with which Oahu is swarming), that if she gets so squeamish around bugs, how is she going to survive a zombie attack? I mean, she's got to toughen up (and possibly learn how to use firearms).

Anyway, whenever she jumps two meters backward at the sight of any creepy-crawly thing with more than four legs, I simply yell, "Zombies!" to her. It's shorthand for the reminder, "How are you going to survive a zombie attack when you're this squeamish at the sight of a bug that can't harm you?!" Gotta love tough love. Just gotta.

Anyhoo, while zombie attacks are a very remote possibility, it just so happens that zombie attack preparedness also makes for good general disaster preparedness. So it's a win-win, really.

Anyway, while I agree with this...
Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.
Free range brains. Braiiiins!
... I'm not so sure that I agree with this:
Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
I mean, while meeting right outside the home is good for a fire, earthquake, and some other natural disasters, being out in the open, all vulnerable-like, may not be the most optimal site if zombies are on the prowl. For that matter, perhaps not in a flood either. The "outside the neighborhood" plan might work, but not if it's a school. If I were a zombie, I'd be heading right for the local elementary. Mmmm... veal.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share your thoughts, but please be kind and respectful. My mom reads this blog.