Hollywood has biggest January ever

[above: The storyline of Korean thriller "Tale of Two Sisters" revolves around three women going clinically insane after overexposure to the chemicals found in skin-whitening creams.]

On the tail of news that a Hollywood remake of a Korean thriller ("Tale of Two Sisters" remade as "The Uninvited") was number-two at the box office for a while, we get news that in the midst of Great Depression 2.0, Hollywood has had its biggest January ever. 

To the tune of $129 million over Superbowl weekend (thanks for the correction, Mark), in fact, even more than last year's record-breaking $127.7 million, back when we thought that our clever financial machinations would mean growing profits for as far as the eye could see. 

Ka-ching! (which, coincidentally, is also the title of a Korean movie the talentless hacks in Hollywood can remake)

Well, every silver lining has a cloud (or so goes the pessimist's creed), and that is that these record numbers probably mean that people are going to the theaters because of (a) a need for escapism from the harsh reality that their world is falling apart all around them and (b) an inability to afford to go anywhere else. 

In times of economic crisis, especially when jobs are scarce or drying up, young people also head to grad school. Which is good for me, because Kushibo wouldn't mind an even larger pool of distraught young women next fall semester whose expectations and standards have suddenly taken a sharp drop. 

Just don't compete for my scholarship money, bee-ach! (I'm not sure how to spell that; it's not covered in the public health curriculum.)

[above: If you don't fulfill your patriotic duty of going to the local cineplex and purchasing a movie ticket and an overpriced hot dog, Liam Neeson will come to your house and shoot all your potted plants.]