Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hey, you ethnics! Get off my lawn!

WARNING: This is probably the stupidest post I've ever done. I'm not kidding. It would probably facilitate things if you are either drunk, high, or otherwise slap-happy from sleep deprivation while reading this post. I know I am.

I have to admit, ever since Nathan Schwartzman said "Hey, you ethnics! Get off my lawn!" the other day, that phrase has stuck in my head and it has really tickled me. I've been chuckling at random and frightening people in the library, and I'm pretty sure the baristas at the local coffee house now think I'm some sort of homeless dude.

When Nathan first said that, I imagined our hapless Mr Crow looking like some curmudgeon, furrowing his brow and maybe shaking his fist. Or perhaps pointing a gun. Anyway, in my head, he looked like Clint Eastwood, perhaps. The picture was so clear in my mind, I stayed up late making this:

It's kinda funny, but only because this is so out of character for the real Clint Eastwood. Plus the phrase is just so pathetically dumb when/if it were really uttered by anyone, including Clint Eastwood.

But if it works being uttered by an armed Clint Eastwood, why not an armed Arnold Schwarzenegger?

It would have been better if I had a picture of Clint Eastwood shaking his fist, but a movie where Clint Eastwood is shaking fists instead of toting guns would probably not attract too many people paying $11 a pop, so I'll just go with this.

But I was on a roll. I had other pictures of Mr Eastwood from Gran Torino, so since PhotoStudio was open, I figured what the hey!

Yeah, that's nice and curmudgeonly. And it works because this would just be so wrong for someone to say (even if some think it) and totally out of character for Clint Eastwood (and possibly his character, but I haven't see the movie yet).
[UPDATE (November 2010): I finally just now saw Gran Torino and it appears Clint Eastwood's character would in fact say things like, "Hey, you ethnics! Get off my lawn!" Except instead of "ethnics" he would insert actual ethnic slurs. I don't imagine the real Clint Eastwood is like that, though.] 

And this is when I had my epiphany. This silly, random phrase can be inserted into oh, so many random photos you would find on the InterWeb where people are clearly in some sort of conflict, especially where the random randomness of its I'm-acting-tough-but-I'm-actually-scared-of-the-world message just makes no sense...

And why stop there? It can be applied to movies or situations where its meaning would make no discernible sense whatsoever...

That's right, Amanda Frost, you tell that bitch!

Whoa, snap! Who saw that one coming? Looks like Jinx and Frost have a Tokto-Takeshima thing going. What will they say next? Who will win? Who will live to die another day? Who will have sex in a Buddhist shrine?

It doesn't even have to be from a movie or picture with real people. Comic book characters can get in on the act.

Okay. That's all I've got for now. If this is not the stupidest thing you've ever seen, jump in and make your own, just like with the 50,000-won bill meme thingee (and really, is this any dumber than that?). In fact, if this catches on, this could become the "I Can Has Cheezburger?" of our generation (I know, I know, "I Can Has Cheezburger?" is from our generation, but it feels like it's been around since the '60s).

In fact, I think I'll mosey on over to that site right now. Not only is there something inherently amusing about lolcats forced to speak as if they are Ukrainian immigrants, but there might be some feline photos perfect for "Hey, you ethnics! Get off my lawn!"

Enjoy this post while you can, folks, 'cuz when I wake up in the morning, I might just decide it's best to pretend it never existed.


  1. Kushibo,
    My blog was shut down by and I am now blogging from a new url. Will you please post about my new blog? I would appreciate it. My readers probably are your readers as well.


  3. Why was your blog shut down? Did you yell, "Hey, you ethnics! Get off my lawn!" to the wrong people?

  4. line would have been a little more specific as to ethnicity.


Share your thoughts, but please be kind and respectful. My mom reads this blog.