Sunday, August 30, 2009

Don't buy the Horizon juice box at the Waikele Starbucks

So I'm sitting in the Starbucks next to the Borders book store across the street from Waikele Premium Outlet across town, because I'd promised to take "C" shopping there but I didn't want to do any actual shopping. I'm getting some studying done, plus some work.

Some kid — a bit older than a toddler but not much more disciplined — gets away from his maternal parenting unit and grabs the Horizon organic drink in the foreground of the above picture. It may or may not be a juice box, but it looks like a juice box, which is probably why junior decided to grab it. Then, of course, he runs all the way to the other side of the store with it, going past me, which is why I looked up from my diligent study efforts.

Maternal parenting unit doesn't wish to pay for said organic beverage because it probably costs double or triple whatever it would cost at Target, if Target actually sold such a thing.

So MPU tells him "No!" and instructs junior to put it back, which he doesn't, so she grabs it out of his hand and places it back in the refrigerator case herself, next to the fresh sandwiches and fruit.

But not until he sneezed directly on it at least twice, once before she noticed he'd grabbed it, and once after she told him to put it back. Then MPU walks out of the coffee house, child in tow.

So, again, do not buy the Horizon juice box at the Waikele Starbucks. It's been contaminated. I, after seeing junior eject a fine mist of probably virus-saturated snot all over the ORDER HERE line, would have called in a hazmat crew. But that's me.

Coming soon: my post in favor of mandatory parenting licensing.


  1. LOL. now we're scrutinizing parenting techniques?

    looking forward to it.

  2. I don't mind that she told him no. I don't mind that she was letting him run around the store. I don't mind the lax parenting style all that much.

    But I do mind that, owing to her lax parenting style, she let him infect a juice box and then she knowingly put the diseased item back for someone else to consume.

  3. Only slightly, very slightly related, but my fiance and I are beginning the process of acquiring a fiance visa that will allow her to get married in the US. The process takes, on average, seven months, and for the first step, I have to compile lots of paperwork, including evidence that we've met each other over the past two years and that we're a real couple. We also have to provide biographical information, a letter written by me that details our relationship thus far, and promises that we will marry within 90 days of entering the US. Oh, and $500. Then if that's deemed acceptable, she'll submit more paperwork---and more money---as well as evidence that our relationship has continued and a health check, and then interview at a US Embassy in Japan.

    When I first learned about all this, I remarked that it's a shame we're not just two Americans. Then we could be 18, have no money, no home, have four kids out of wedlock, and be working parttime at Arby's---nothing against food service employees of course---and still get married, no questions asked. Or we could hook up one night in a bar and get married the next day, no problem.

    Now, I know people will say, if we seriously argue for permits for marriage and children, "oh, that'll lead to dark places," but I think it's high time we start holding ourselves accountable. After all, if my fiance and I have to go through all this trouble to prove we're a real couple and one able to sustain ourselves, why doesn't everyone do this? Or, why doesn't society consider sustainability an important responsibility?

  4. Oh, I see the connection. You imagine the mother in this anecdote may be some low-class, poorly educated person. In fact, she was probably around thirty and dressed like a reasonably conservative mom for her age. Waikele is a decent neighborhood near some poorer neighborhoods, but typically the cash-strapped hardly venture into Starbucks at all. This mother was a typical mom.

    I did, however, see a mom and dad just as you described at the McDonald's near Ala Moana WalMart. She had four kids, all under the age of five, and could barely have been over 22 herself. They were mostly behaving, except they were completely unaware of the giant adults carrying trays of hot food and cold beverages over their heads. And they didn't sneeze on anything.

    At any rate, I think you make a very valid point. Unfortunately, making marriage stricter might just lead to more out-of-wedlock childbirth, which in the long run may be less stable for a lot of kids.

    Oh, and it's fiancée, not fiance. Pet peeve of mine, but you're not marrying a man, are you? ;)


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