Wednesday, June 9, 2010

And speaking of Kim Jong-un...

Fresh off the latest news of the Brilliant Comrade's unceasing rise to the top of the ash heap of history, it looks like Yonhap has released another picture of someone who they think is Kim Jong-un.

The below picture at least is believed to be Kim Jong-un when he attended the International School of Berne in Switzerland, while the girl at right is Kim Yojong, his sister, who attended public school (like a good socialist) in Switzerland.

The existence of yet another offspring throws a further monkey into the transition works (unless Yojong is actually that son of KJI's they were saying he thought was too feminine). So in addition to the Exuberant Progeny, there is yet another contender/pretender to the Kim Dynasty throne which we shall have to...

... Holy shit! I can't go on... Do you see that thing on her neck?! Whiskey Tango Fu¢k! What the frackety fu¢k is that? Is she a Maori chieftess or something? Seriously, did the they attach the head of Kim Yojong to the body of some other girl, or vice-versa? Is defense against the choking arts something the Kim children are all taught in some after-school program?

Good God! Frickin' Addams Family all up in there.

Anyway, using a carefully crafted algorithm that takes this new photographic evidence, ages it according to normal growth patterns that account for diet, genetic background, environment, and the phenotype of one's siblings, I'm fairly certain that this is what Kim Jong-un looks like as an adult:

Rick Hoffman, under-employed actor best known as Bernie Mac's agent in The Bernie Mac Show. It's the perfect cover.

Kim Yojong, of course, is actually Margaret Cho.


  1. Did they ever nip [1] across the Austrian border for a bite to eat?

    [1] Not an intentional choice of word, I assure you.

  2. Jong Un looks a lot like his grandfather in this pic...and of course Yo Jong looks a lot like her permed hair father. I can't imagine her getting a rolly blade tattoo on her neck. Maybe it's just a very close-to-the-skin necklace.

  3. No, LastnameKim, I refuse to accept any interpretation other than she's Franken-scion.

    And I agree that I can see Kim Ilsung's features a bit in Kim Jong-un's picture, but I don't think they look that similar. KIS was quite a handsome dude, and KJU looks a tad awkward and goofy.

  4. kushibo,

    A couple of things you might find interesting. Some North Korean soldiers are actually hoping for war to take their minds off their crushing misery and a bit of Flu Fiction if you care to catch the latest episode (Season 8, ep. 10).


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