Saturday, September 12, 2009

Milestones meaningful only to me

Well, in a development I referred to the other day, Monster Island got its 100,000th hit early this morning. When I had gone to bed at about 2 a.m. (I have a lot of work to do), there were 99,957 hits, and I wasn't about to wait up for what could be — given the late hour on the US Mainland which is where about half my visitors are — a couple hours or so for the blogometer (that's blog plus odometer; see how I did that?) to roll over to six digits.

So when I woke up this morning at 7:30 (like I said, lots of work to do, and I've taken to Bob Dole sleep patterns in order to do it all), the SiteMeter readings said 100,038. My lucky and mysterious visitor had come in the night. I had promised a coffee to the 100,000th visitor, and I set out to discover who that was.

I had hoped that the person to whom I was offering a free congratulatory latte would be an attractive young woman with high intelligence matched in its intensity only by her charming personality. Coffee would lead to more coffee, and those coffees would lead to regular and frequent chats over lunch, dinner, movies, etc., maybe even walks along Sandy Beach when the moon is full. Years later, probably around 2017, I would get the nerve to tell her I'd been crazy about her since the day we first met. [sigh]

Um, anyway, the details from SiteMeter (below) probably indicate a scenario with a different outcome than that.

To interpret for you, our hundred thousandth visitor is at the San Bernardino County Superintendent of Schools. Probably not the superintendent himself or herself (hold on... it's a Dr Gary Thomas, Ed.D., so himself), but someone who works in the big building they have there on North E Street (E Street? You know you've got a town full of lazy do-nothings if they can't even find worthy locals to name the streets after).

The hit came at 8:32 a.m. on Friday, September 11, 2009, California time. That's the start of the work day, so what kind of thing would a diligent education administrator be looking at on my blog that's education-related? It was from a Google search, so maybe they came looking for something like yesterday's article on teacher salaries in the OECD, the tragedy of the kirŏgi appa families that are split apart for their child's education, the expansion of English education in Korea to all grades in elementary school, or even which colleges look like Hogwarts.

So let's see... what were they coming for? [Kushibo looks closely at Sitemeter data]

Ah, it was the "Megan Fox prays for Rain" post, and it appears they arrived from a Google image search. Could they have been searching for the hilarious video of Jessica Simpson mangling the Korean language, which could be suitable material for language courses?

Hmm... let's see. Ah, here it is:

Nice. So this is what some schmoe at the San Berdo Superintendent of Schools office is searching for — semi-nude sexy pics of Megan Fox — while at work on a Friday. Your tax dollars at work, Victorville.

Maybe I'll cut this person working on the public dime (and a public computer) some slack; maybe he just found out that the Gubernator has mowed him down in the latest volley of budget cuts and the poor guy is about to be downsized, and searching for semi-nude sexy pics of Megan Fox is the only thing to console him. But if that's not what it is, you'd better watch your back, buddy, 'cuz they probably won't tolerate a salacious slacker like you much longer.

Anyway, congratulations! Email me to pick up your coupon.

[And it looks like my coffee romance scenario won't be playing out. Since the person looking for Megan Fox semi-nude sexy pics was probably not a woman. But maybe there's a chance... She could be bicurious, bifurcated, bifunctional, and bifocal. Nah, I won't make that mistake three times.]


  1. Congratulations on the milestone. Back when I put more care into my blog and thus had more non-random visitors surfing in, I'd get people clicking in from banks, federal agencies, military installations, you name it. My traffic was always meager, but I enjoyed contemplating the variety of hits.


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